“Yes okay, Covid 19 has proved to be a bloody bitch from hell but this is not likely to be the full story; so be honest, what else led you to trip over your own crampons and tumble in!”
Advice I can share after falling down a crevasse recently!
Shout out – okay so perhaps no-one can help you actually get out but at least they know where you are. More cool is that you’ll find there are other folk down with you – probably people you least expected – and some of them have been down for a lot longer, so they can give you valuable insights that will help you see the space more clearly, and look out for further pitfalls, because you might not be at the bottom! Still, they probably don’t know how to get out or they’d have got out!
Admit to yourself where you are – self-denial gets nobody anywhere so there is no point continuing to pretend everything is okay when it absolutely isn’t. You will have a “phew” moment and this will galvanise you into planning your escape – still you may feel clueless about how this is going to work. At this point you will need to just trust in yourself and know that you will get out, you always do!
Be honest about how you fell down in the first place – blaming something or someone else will rarely help the situation. Yes Covid 19 has proved to be a bloody bitch from hell but this is not likely to be the full story; so be honest, what else led you to trip over your own crampons and tumble in! This can be brutal, it will likely bring tears, overwhelming disappointment, GRIEF even, but all this will pass, and honesty is like a spring shower, everything looks brighter afterwards.
Now it is time to be grateful – maybe you don’t feel it yet but try to find something to be grateful for and with this will come acceptance. Often we fall down because we were running too fast to pay attention and or we were on the wrong path.
It’s okay to not be okay – this is a normal human condition and when you stop trying to paper over the cracks you’ll find there are incredible people around who just couldn’t wait for you to be ready for their help. The moment you drop your fierce pride they will be there with kindness and empathy. You will feel re-connected and, you know, this is a powerful elixir which may even help you levitate out of that hole!!! I never expect anyone to hold out a hand for me but I’m just so grateful for all the people who have peered over the edge recently and just “cheered me on” – it has meant a lot.
Nearly there but this one is important …
Never feel guilty – not about your plight or about that careless trip that caused this all in the first place and definitely do not feel guilty because there are those who are in a worse situation than you. This is the time when you must, must, MUST put yourself first. Sure, there are plenty of other people in a deeper crevasse than you but you can’t help them until you help yourself!
Currently I’m still in the crevasse but I’m not as deep as I thought and a few good things have happened – I can see the sky, I found some music, I have enough space to dance and practice yoga, and, most importantly, I have faith in my ability to get out of this one in the very near future – because I have always been able to pull myself out in the past!
And finally, in the incredibly haunting words of Nightbirde – “don’t wait for life to not be hard to be happy”. Of course there will be plenty more holes to fall into after this one but it’s okay.